Tyler dialed Morrigan's number, occasionally glancing out the window in between words.
"Hey, you." Morrigan said.
"Hey, change of plans. Can we meet at the coffee shop tonight?" Tyler tried his best to hide his interest, looking through the small opening provided by the blinds. It was the same man, Tall and slender, but intimidating as he easily towered over Tyler.
The man looked dirty and yet it was clear the cloths were regularly laundered. The man looked fake, and he didn't know the source of that feeling. It was the perfect way to describe this man.
“Whats wrong?” she asked.
Tyler grimaced, did she know? “Its nothing, just a little paranoid.” He replied.
“Paranoid?“why?”
“Just a homeless guy across the street of my complex. He keeps looking at my building.” Tyler maneuvered the phone as he reached for his shirt, put it on, and gazed again out the small slit between the blinds. The man across the street seemed to meet his eyes every time. If Tyler could even find the words to describe how unnatural that man’s face looked, he wouldn't be able to speak them.
“I’m already on my way.” Morrigan said
“No,” he began but was interrupted by Charles knocking on the door.
“That guy is back,” Charles said.
“I know. What the hell,” Tyler said. He turned his attention to the phone, “I suppose if your close. Just head on over.”
She wanted to know everything about this man. She demanded information the moment she arrived. Charles regaled her with slightly over exaggerated details about rubbery looking skin and long twisted arms.
"Shall we go then?” she asked. Tyler looked up from the dining room chair and saw that she was ready to leave.
“Yeah,” he replied giving a sincere smile and after heading out the door. “Where to?”
After a few moments Morrigan curled her arm around his and replied in a cheerful tone.
“Check your log. What gaps will I be filling today?"
“It’s a bit tacky,” he began, “like watching sunsets?” A slow creeping smile stretched across her face.
"You're really working for that kiss, aren't you.“
He nodded, “I know a good spot, if you're into that.”
Tyler gathered up a few pillows and some blankets in a garbage bag, grabbed her hand, and escorted her out of the apartment and up a flight of stairs. “Watch your step.” He said stepping beside her and grabbing her waist as she slowly moved up the steps. After two flights, she met a steel door.
She heard the excited fumbling of keys, and tried not to laugh. “How do you even have a key to the roof?”
He stepped in front of her to open the door, "I asked for them." He turned the key and opened the door letting in the soft yellow light, “When this complex was built it was meant to be a place of luxury.” He led her onto the roof. She could smell the fragrance of flowers as he pulled her close and led her forward.
“They decided to build these little garden areas on the buildings. I guess for family picnics.”
“Or romantic evenings?” she said. They wandered to a small patch of grass growing strong. He laid out one of the blankets and walked her out onto it.They both sat down and took in the sight.
“Perfect timing,” Morrigan said. The sun shimmered off her skin and her eyes emitted a jade glow. she shook her head clearing her thoughts, inching her way closer to his side and clasping to his hand. She laid her head against his shoulder.
He pulled her hand up and lightly kissed it before gently allowing it to fall. He turned his head and was greeted with a kiss. They sat their, motionless and silent, for some time.
As night fell, they were lying down beside one another. Morrigan held his hand in hers laying lifeless on her chest and used her left to casually caress his arms. Almost instinctively, her hand slowly traveled up to his curly hair and began toying with it, gently wrapping it around her fingers, then loosening her grip allowing the curls to unravel. She repeated the process over and over again, listening to him speak and replying if necessary.
“Whats wrong.” Tyler asked.
“Hmm?” she replied, blank faced.
“You're thinking.” He prodded.
“Not at-”
“Don't even,” he laughed, “Thats you're thinking face.”
She smiled and turned over perching herself on her forearms lifting herself up so he could see her face.
"I'm just not quite used to this.” She said, worming herself into the cradle of his side and staring into his face. He curled his arm under her and clenched tightly.
“Tell me about this fake man.” She said.
“Aw, don't ruin it. You're changing the subject.”
She glared at him, “...and you’re dealing with it.”
He chuckled and turned to look at the stars, “He just looked filthy,” he said, “Me and Charles both feel like he was staring right at us.”
“Was he?”
“Seemed so. He just didn't look right.” He slowly rose from the blanket. Morrigan did as well assisting in whatever way she could in picking up the mis-mashed pile of pillows and blankets. He could tell it concerned her, or at least something was. He couldnt tell, but she was doing her best to solve a pressing ethical problem.
She considered stalking the night for the so called "fake man". Too slow. With the recent hostility toward her and the others at Oxford, she knew it was only a matter of time before she, and by proxy Tyler, experience hostility as well.
She caught the scent of Tyler's cologne. He hated it, but she could easily identify it, and she enjoyed the smell. It matched her perfume perfectly. She caught herself smiling, her train of thought derailed.
"What?" he asked.
She shook her head, "You're cute."
“I’m... what? What did I say?”
She took a step forward, placed her hand on his chest and used her other hand to seek his face, “Nothing at all.” She grabbed the back of his head and gently pulled it toward her. She kissed him, Sharing a depth and intimate side she forgot she had.
There were a few minor typos. The one that was the most bothersome was where you had a few lines of dialogue where they were improperly split so the lines blended together. I'm sorry I can't point out each specific typo since I can't use copy/paste in manuscripts. Your split between scenes is a bit odd. Both because you suddenly jumped time and the fact that your phrasing suggests that the following was originally the bulk of chapter nine, I guess. I was a little bit confused. I'm not sure if I can read your next chapter, but I'll continue whenever I can.
Oof I understand. I dropped the ball here. I use scrivner and there was a mistake in how the chapters lined up as well as missing info for chapter I'm not entirely sure why. I included here since you, one of the few commenting, already read it. I apologize. In the final draft, chapters 9 and 10 will be combined. I seperated so the NSFW part can be separated for those uncomfortable. I will say, its not just a nsfw scene. The sexual side is a background to what really happening. If you don't read it out of discomfort, I totally understand, and I'll make some plot points to explain for those who elect to skip on chapter 11. Thanks man. Sorry I messed this one up.
I believe your best option here is to do 1 of 2 things: 1 -- Completely rework/restablish how you are weaving chapter 6/7/8/9 together from their original singular form and then put the latter half of this chapter with the following chapter. 2 -- Like the previous one, but split chapter 11, or whatever number the latter half of this and the next are going to be, into two parts. Publish it as "Chapter 11, P1" and "Chapter 11, P2(NSFW)" or "Chapter 11, P2 Summary". This would allow people to pick a path to either read or avoid the sex scene. In either case, I think you're still working on properly splitting your chapters up since it was originally singular. Even if the organization is a bit of a mess and there are a few flaws, the writing is still pretty good. Last note, something I just thought of, I don't know if you care or not but the opening of this chapter is telling the reader when sometimes, especially with your dialogue focused relationship, it can be better to convey such monotony through conversation.
As well, I glanced at the next chapter and that probably needs to be reformatted to have the clean look of the previous chapters since all of the lines blur together which isn't great for focus.
I...LOVE... that idea. Ill work on that tonight once i finish the articles of yours im reading. That's a fantastic idea. Also, yes, The opening is far better with dialogue. Ill rewrite it! Thanks so much. Stay tuned!
Also, Thanks. I fixed it. Copy paste doesnt copy format and Im forgettful at 3AM XD