Llussa (Loo - sa) was dead. She was dead and there was nothing Ssullu (soo - loo) could do about it. Llussa's beautiful broad leaves, now withering brown on her branches, would never grow again. Ssullu could feel her entire body begin to tremble with the all-consuming grief and horror that had been her constant companion since she found out that Llussa had died. Since part of Ssullu's very being had been violently torn from her, leaving her a husk empty of everything save the fact that the person she loved so much it hurt, whose smile had been with her their whole lives, was gone. Llussa was gone and Ssullu would never see her smile again. With a quick shake of her head she strangled the thoughts desperately trying to drown her in grief. She took a shaky breath. There wasn't time for this. Right now she had to be strong. Llussa's ceremony would be starting soon. She quickly wiped the tears that had srept down her cheeks without her noticing, and prepared to go to The Ceremony.
When she arrived at Llussa's tree, Ssullu was almost calm, the walk to get there having provided some much needed time to compose herself. She was immediately ushered to the changing area by one of the three Helpers who were waiting for her. They showed her her Tssaissha (tsai -sha), the traditional garment worn by those closest to the deceased, The Most Grieved, during the ceremony. Ssullu had never had to wear one before. She was hit by a wave of emotions that threatened to squeeze tears out of her eyes. Seeing a Tssaissha made with Llussa's bark and branches, panic and horror flooded her mind, making it hard to breathe. The glass beads on her bracelet clicked together as she rubbed them back and forth. "It's too much, I can't do this, I can't say goodbye, I'm not ready, I-"
"Ssullu, take a deep breath," It was one of The Helpers, an Oak tree, the same as Llussa was. "You can do this. Breathe in for three, Hold for three, breathe out for three."
Ssullu breathed in and tried to focus only on her breath. 1... 2... 3... She could feel some of the panic ebbing away. She held her breath, feeling the pressure settle in her lungs. 1... 2... 3... She released the breath the panic slowly draining from her mind and body. 1... 2... 3...
"Thank you," She said when she could talk again.
The other dryad smiled sadly. "Let us know when you're ready," she said.
Ssullu thought her name was Ayyassa, although she wasn't certain. She had only seen her once or twice in passing. Ayyassa was taller than her, her leaves vibrant and healthy, so different from Llussa's dead ones. Ssullu took another deep breath. She could do this. The three Helpers wrapped her in a tight hug. She was so thankful that The Helpers were there to relieve the burden of planning the ceremony. She didn't know what she would do without their support. Ssullu nodded at the Helpers. She would do this, for Llussa sake. She was ready.
Putting on a Tssaissha took time. It required help from other people. One of the helpers stood on a stool. "Raise your arms for me?" Ssullu raised her arms and felt the cotton shift settle around her. The first layer was on.
The helpers fastened the stiffened skirt that was the seventh layer on Ssullu. It fanned around her, the gap at the front allowing the dress made of overlapping discs of Llussa's wood that she was wearing underneath to be seen. The bodice was next, also leaving space for the dress to be seen. Now it was time for the last layer, an ornamental cuirass (a breastplate and backplate). The front and back were each made out of one solid piece of wood from Llussa's tree, attached to each other over the shoulders and sides by ribbon. It was carved with various symbols depicting her connection to Llussa. The Helper slid it over her head, and with that the final layer of the Tssaissha was on. She was ready. The next part of The Ceremony was about to start. It was time for The Telling of Llussa's Story.
As the person who had been the closest to Llussa, Ssullu would be the one to tell the first story about her. After she told the first story all of the people in mourning would take turns sharing their stories about Llussa. They would celebrate and morn her. They would make sure that the people who would be creating the design that would be carved on her tree had the knowledge they needed in order to make a design true to Llussa, to tell her story and honor her life.
Ssullu walked over to where everyone was gathering around the tree. She felt a lot calmer now. She had heard from people who had been Most Grieved before that the process of donning the Tssaissha was soothing and helped fortify them for the rest of the ceremony, but she had figured they were exaggerating. Now that she had experienced it herself she realized that they were right. The fellowship and support she felt from the Helpers and wearing part of Llussa next to her skin brought a sense of peace to her she couldn't describe.
While the Helpers worked on the shelter to go over Llussa's tree to make sure that it was dry by the time carving started, Ssullu sat down with the other people morning Llussa, and the designers. She took a slow, deep breath, running her hand over the carved details on her Tssaissha, taking comfort in the way it laid out the story of their existence together. She smiled sadly to herself, not bothering to wipe away the tears that had fallen. Under her breath she whispered "Goodbye Llussa". She opened her mouth and began to speak.