Chapter 15: Making a Decision

Aeris slowly turned around. She didn’t even hear Charles come into the room. Even without looking at Maggie, she sensed the woman’s nervousness. Aeris’ heart hammered against her chest as she stared into Charles’ cool eyes. Master Aaron wasn’t with him, but it didn’t bring her much comfort.

“Hello, Charles,” Maggie said, her voice quivering slightly. “What are you doing here?”

Fear flooded Charles’ face when his gaze fell upon the box in Maggie’s hands. “Where did you find that?”

“I want to see my papers,” Aeris said.

Charles continued to stare at the box in Maggie’s hands, his hand clutching at the front of his shirt as if holding something beneath it. “I can’t allow that.’

“Why not?” Maggie asked, the confidence returning to her voice. “They belong to Aeris; you have no right to keep them from her.”

The trepidation left Charles’ eyes and returned to their usual emotionless state. “Correction: They belong to Lord Strauss, and it is up to him whether or not she’ll see them.”

“I want to see my papers,” Aeris repeated firmly. A strange feeling began to build in her chest, pushing back her fear. I’m going to get in trouble anyway once, Master Aaron gets home, she thought. So I may as well go all the way.

Charles’ stepped back, a renewed flicker of fear appeared in his face. “You’ll need to ask—”

“I wasn’t asking,” Aeris said, stepping forward. “I know you have the key, and you’re going to give it to me.”

“Aeris, what are you doing?” Maggie asked, her voice growing panicked.

Aeris continued to slowly stalk toward the man and didn’t reply. She had no intention of harming Charles, but she was fairly certain he didn’t know that. But she also didn’t intend to leave the room without seeing her papers.

Her threat had the desired effect as Charles backed into the closed door. He fumbled for the knob, but his hand was nowhere it.

“Don’t,” Aeris commanded. Charles’ arms fell limp at his sides and he stared off into the distance oblivious to the dragon threatening him. “Give me the key.”

Charles reach into his shirt and removed the key without hesitation. Aeris carefully took the key in her jaws and jogged over to Maggie who stared slack-jawed at the old man. It wasn’t until Aeris nudged the woman twice that she snapped out of her trance and took the key.

The clicking of the lock echoed through the room as Maggie sat the box on the bed and unlocked it. She opened the box and pulled out a set of papers. Aeris bounced in place, her tail wagging furiously as she waited for Maggie to read the documents out loud.

Maggie frowned, and the good feelings rushed out of Aeris. “I…I don’t understand,” Maggie said. She turned to Charles. “What is this?”

Charles continued to stare into the distance and said nothing. Aeris placed her forepaws on the bed and read the papers in Maggie’s hands. With every line she read, her heart sank. In every section, not including her name, was only a single word: “unknown”. Nothing about her was known. Not who her parents were, her species, or how her egg was acquired.

Aeris slowly turned to Charles. “What is this? Why do my papers say unknown?”

"Your origins are unknown," Charles replied in a monotone voice.

“What is wrong with you?” Maggie asked, stepping protectively in front of Aeris. Aeris wondered the same, but she was more worried about her papers.

Charles continued in the same monotone voice, “The late Arthur Strauss came home one day, covered in blood, carrying a dragon’s egg. I asked him where the egg came from and all he said was ‘fixing a mistake and keeping a promise.’ He made me swear never to tell anyone what happened. We forged the papers and told everyone the egg was rescued from poachers.”

“What do you mean, ‘fixing a mistake’?” Aeris asked. “And what promise are you talking about?”

“I don’t know.”

“You do know!” Aeris cried desperately. “Please! I’m so close to finding the truth about what I am! I have to know the truth!”

“I don’t know.”

Aeris dropped her head and whined. Maggie gently stroked the back of her neck. Aeris spun and buried her face in Maggie’s stomach, her claws scraping against the floor. She wanted to scream and tear everything apart in frustration, but Maggie’s touch brought her comfort and stayed her fury. “I’m so sorry, Aeris,” Maggie said. “It seems we’ll never find the truth now.”

They both jumped at a sudden knock at the door followed by Lydia’s voice. “Hello? Is someone in there?”

“Aeris, go,” Maggie whispered. “I’ll put everything away.”

Aeris didn't want to leave Maggie alone, but she obeyed and hurried through the secret entrance in the wall, closing the door behind her. Instead of going back to her room, she stayed and watched Maggie from behind the screen. Maggie hurriedly put the papers inside the box before closing and locking it. She then put the back underneath the floorboard and covered it with the rug.

“Just a second!” Maggie called. She ruffled her hair, pinched her cheeks, and undid the top button on her blouse before approaching the door. After shoving Charles out of the way, she opened the door and said, “Hello, Lydia. Could you come back later? I’m kind of in the middle of something.”

Aeris couldn’t see Lydia’s reaction, but she heard the woman’s reaction. “Oh. Oh. I didn’t you know you were still active, Margret.” She gasped before whispering. Aeris pressed the side of her head against the door to hear what she said next. “In Lord Strauss’ bed? You are quite the rebel!”

“Just don’t tell anyone, okay?” Maggie whispered back.

“Your secret’s safe with me. But I should warn you, Lilith is still here, and you certainly don’t want her to walk in on you.”

“Thank you for the advice. Where is she now?”

“I believe she said something about wanting to see Aeris.”

Aeris rushed through the passages to get back to her room before Lilith discovered she was missing and came looking for her. She made more noise than intended in her hurry, but she didn’t care.

Aeris caught up to Lilith as the woman was walking across the yard. “There you are. I was just on my way to speak with you,”

“I was flying about for a bit,” Aeris lied. She didn’t want to risk saying she was in the gardens in case Lilith was just there.

“Didn’t Aaron say you were grounded?”

Aeris stammered in an attempt to find a suitable explanation, but Lilith only chuckled and said, “Well, I won’t tell if you won’t. I’m glad to see you’re still asserting yourself. How could he possibly think you would react to being cooped up in that smelly room. Follow me, please. I still wish to have this conversation in your room where we’re less likely to be overheard.”

The entire walk back to her room, Aeris wondered what Lilith could want from her. They hadn’t spoken in days, not that Aeris minded. The way she saw it, the less Lilith knew, the less she had to lie if asked. Once they inside Aeris’ room, Lilith spoke, “First, I want to say congratulations on your engagement.” There was a note of displeasure in her voice. “I never thought you would get married before me.”

“You’ll get married one day,” Aeris offered to cheer her up.

Lilith smiled, but it seemed forced. “Thank you for saying that. But this is about you and your marriage. You do understand that this will mean big changes for you?”

“What kind of changes?” Aeris asked slowly. The thought of things changing caused her tail to wrap around her legs.

“This is exactly what I was afraid of. No one has taught you anything about being a good wife have they?” When Aeris shook her head, Lilith sighed and rubbed her temple. “I thought not. After you get married, your allegiance will be to your husband, and tradition states you must leave and live with him.”

“I have to leave?” Aeris asked. “But what about Maggie? What about Master Aaron?”

“They won’t be going with you.”

Aeris backed away from Lilith, shaking her head. “No. I don’t want to leave! No one told me I had to leave.”

“Well, what did you expect to happen? You can’t possibly mean to stay here forever? What did you think was the point of becoming more independent?” She walked over and stroked Aeris’ back. “At some point, you will have to leave, marriage or no. You can come visit whenever you want. And it’s not as if you can’t visit.”

But I don’t want to visit, Aeris thought. Everything I have is here. Then she remembered Aubrey’s offer. It seemed like a long shot—she still hadn’t told Aubrey about the marriage and had no idea how the Ravager would react, but Aeris knew she could try to stay with Aubrey.

The door opened and Maggie rushed inside. “Okay, I think I—” she quickly fell silent at seeing Lilith. “I had no idea you were here, Lilith. Please forgive my intrusion.”

“It’s quite all right,” Lilith said. “But are you okay? You seem bothered by something.”

 “I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” Maggie said quickly, waving away Lilith’s concern. “I’ll step outside and let you finish your conversation.” She backed toward the door.

Lilith beckoned for Maggie to come closer. “Actually, your timing couldn’t be better. I was hoping you could join us.”

Maggie stopped, her face briefly showing she wanted to be anywhere else, before becoming a mask of neutrality as she walked forward.

“I was just explaining to Aeris what was to be expected of her as a wife,” Lilith explained. “As a widow, I was hoping you could provide some of your expertise.”

“You were married?” Aeris asked Maggie.

Maggie held her hands behind her back, and said in an annoyed tone, “Yes, I was married. To a monster. I doubt any of my experiences would be of any help to her. It would only scare her out of her wits. I don’t know much about Reks, but I’m sure he’ll treat Aeris right.”

“There is one other thing I’ve yet to discuss,” Lilith said. “Aeris, have you and Reks been…intimate?”

“What do you mean?” Aeris asked.

“She means sex,” Maggie said brusquely, throwing a sharp look in Lilith’s direction.

“No!” Aeris cried more loudly than intended.

Lilith remained unperturbed. “It’s a very important topic. She will need to consummate the marriage. I’m afraid I’m unfamiliar with dragon mating habits, but she should be informed.”

Aeris looked back and forth between the two women, at a complete loss for words. Master Aaron had asked her to do many things for him, but he had never asked her to do anything like that. She wondered if Master Aaron knew about marriage consummation.

Maggie quickly walked to Aeris's side and placed her arms protectively around her neck. "I already had this discussion with Aeris. We don't need to embarrass her with more discussion on the topic."

Lilith pressed her lips into a thin line as she stared at Maggie. The tension in the room pressed down on Aeris. For several minutes, the two women communicated with stern, unwavering looks. Aeris wanted to speak up but feared to be the spark that ignited an argument. Maggie didn't relinquish her grip on Aeris's neck. Whenever she tried to pull away, Maggie's grip tightened though she never took her eyes off Lilith.

Unable to take it anymore, Aeris spoke up. “If I need to know more about dragon mating habits, maybe I should ask Aubrey.”

That eased the tension in the room or at least convinced Maggie to let go. "Very well. I can defer to her judgment," Maggie said. "But just so you know, Aeris, you don't need to do anything with Reks you don't want to do."

It seemed the end of the conversation. Maggie left the room, throwing one last look at Aeris before leaving.

“Um, Lilith?” Aeris asked. Lilith stopped and peered through the open door before turning back and closing it behind her. Aeris stared at her paws and said, “Could you cover for me tomorrow morning? I need to sneak out again after breakfast.”

“Of course, Aeris. Where are you going?”

“That dragon I told you about, Windor. I need to tell him about the wedding.”

With a small nod, Lilith said, “And what we discussed before? Have you decided what you will do?”

Aeris shook her head. “It depends on him. I don’t like sneaking around with Windor, but I don’t want to lose him either.”

“You’re making the right decision. Marriage isn’t necessarily about love. But sometimes a sacrifice must be made for someone else.” She took Aeris by the chin and forced her to look upward. “But that doesn’t always mean we have to give up our happiness. So long as you’re happy, Aaron will be able to focus on the things that make him happy.” With that, Lilith left Aeris alone with thoughts.

Feeling alone and confused, Aeris curled into a ball on her mattress to sort out her thoughts. She didn’t want to give up Windor, but the idea of an affair still left a bad taste in her mouth. But how is that any different from what I’m doing now? She asked herself. She was already sneaking around and keeping her interactions with Windor a secret. Reks didn’t know about Windor either.

She rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. Perhaps I should ask Aubrey. Instead of comfort, she felt a tightening in her chest. She reminded herself that Aubrey hadn’t been told about the wedding. Cursing her foolishness, she decided to focus only on what she would say to Windor. Several hours passed. The sun set, plunging her into darkness. Aeris felt sore from laying on her back for so long, but she refused to move until she decided the best course of action.

The sound of the door opening accompanied by the meaty aroma of salted meat pulled her out of her thoughts. She rolled over and stood up. “Hello, Maggie, I’m glad you’re—” the rest of her sentence died in her throat upon seeing Master Aaron standing in the room, holding a tray of steaming lamb roast and a lantern to see by. Her tail immediately wrapped around her body.

“Hello, Aeris,” Master Aaron said cheerfully. He set the tray down on the table. “I know I said you were grounded and that meant, no supper, but I was hoping you’ve had time to reflect on your actions.” After lighting the lamp in the middle of the room, he turned to Aeris with a wide smile that quickly dropped. “You don’t look so good. Is something wrong?”

Aeris forced her tail to unwrap around her legs so she could walk approach the table. The smell of the roast was tantalizing, but her fear of what her master wanted to talk about threatened to kill her appetite. “Everything’s fine, Master,” she said, struggling to keep her voice even.

Master Aaron casually stepped in front of her, blocking her path to the table. “Well, that’s good. I feared my punishment was too harsh.”

"It wasn't—isn't, master," Aeris said. She peered around him to look at the meat on the table. Its juices ran down the sides, pooling beneath it.

“I know this hasn’t been easy on you, but I just want you to know that I’m hard on you because I care about you. As a dragon, people expect you to have no manners. It’s important to me that they see you differently.” He turned her face toward him. “To see you how I do. Not as some brutish beast, but as someone caring and compassionate.”

Aeris licked her lips. The smell of the meat was making her drool, and she didn’t want to drool into her master’s hand. All she could think about was the lamb roast sitting just a few feet away. Her stomach grumbled loudly, voicing her thoughts. Fighting the urge to tear away from her master’s grip and run over to the table, she looked up at him and said, “Of course, master.”

Master Aaron smiled. “I’m glad to hear it, Aeris. Now, you understand why you can’t talk to people that way?”

Aeris dug her claws into the dirt and ignored the loud rumblings coming from her belly. “I wasn’t wrong. Those humans were wrong to speak to me that way. My only regret is that I didn’t say something sooner.”

“Aeris—”

"I won't be a burden on you, master!" she pulled away from him. Drool dripped from her maw, but still, she stood up straight and stared defiantly at her master. "I can't expect you to always defend me. It's time I stood up for myself."

Master Aaron stepped back, a look of shock on his face. It didn’t last long as he quickly composed himself and hid his hands behind his back. “I guess there’s nothing more to say then. I’m very proud of you. Enjoy your dinner.”

He had barely left the room before Aeris dove onto the meat, tearing off large chunks and almost swallowing them whole. It was still piping hot and the various seasonings danced on her tongue. After eating, she blew out the lantern and curled up on her mattress to sleep.

Aeris awoke the next morning just before the sun rose high enough for its rays to shine through her window. She quickly stretched then wiggled into her cloak. After relieving herself outside, she planned to go straight to Windor. Reks wasn’t scheduled to visit that day, so she would be alone with Windor for the whole day. But more importantly, Aeris wanted to find Windor and explain everything to him. She had been putting it off long enough and it was time to do what she had to.

The morning crowd was just beginning to form by time Aeris arrived in the commercial district. She had no idea where Windor lived. Not once had he brought her to his residence nor told her how to find it. But she did know one dragon who might. Aeris weaved through the thin crowd toward Cutter’s brothel.

The red door was unlocked and Aeris didn’t waste time going straight to Cutter’s office in the back. Cutter and the human woman, Giselle, were standing over the table, staring at a set of documents.

“And you’re sure this accurate?” Cutter asked. “We can’t afford to fuck this up.”

“My sister lost an eye and three fingers getting this information. It’s good,” Giselle said, her voice laced with her annoyance.”

“Hey,” Cutter replied sharply as she turned to the woman. “She’s lucky she came back at all, and don’t think for a second I enjoyed putting her through that, but we needed this information. What are we gonna do when—” she stopped abruptly and slowly turned to Aeris standing in the doorway. Giselle quickly pulled a cloth over the papers.

“I’m sorry,” Aeris said quickly. “I didn’t know you were busy, but I really need to speak with you.

Cutter shook her head, the shock of Aeris’ sudden appearance draining from her face. “Not a problem, Snowflake.” She nodded to the woman. “Giselle, can you give us a minute?”

The human woman left without a word, closing the door behind her. The moment the door closed, Aeris walked over to Cutter. “Can you tell me where Windor lives?” Aeris asked.

Cutter tilted her head and frowned. “I can, but he lives in the dragon district. You do know as a domesticate, you can’t go there alone. Normally, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but rumors of your marriage are spreading, and it’s got several of the dragons’ tails in a twist.”

“Word is getting around already?” Aeris asked, worried.

 "You didn't really expect it to stay quiet, did you? Don't answer that." She walked toward the door, motioning for Aeris to follow. "I'll take you there myself. I need to visit someone anyway."

Aeris jogged up to Cutter’s side and followed her outside. It wasn’t until they were outside that Cutter asked. “I’m surprised you haven’t been to his place yet with all the time you’ve been spending together.”

“Windor always said he was worried about me being attacked if he took me there.”

“More like he’s worried about what the other dragons will do to him if you’re caught together,” Cutter said with a snort. “I don’t know what shit he’s been filling your head with, but domesticates do live in the dragon district. Sounds more like he’s afraid of pissing off his neighbors.”

“Is it that bad?”

“Depends on who you know, and if you know how to keep your head down.”

Aeris said nothing. She began to worry if going to Windor’s place unannounced like this was going to cause problems for him later.

The dragon district was different from what Aeris expected. It was almost as if walking out of the city. The cobblestone ground was replaced with dirt and none of the buildings were above one story. The buildings were also shabbier and plain-looking, lacking any sort of decoration as if whoever built only wanted shelter from the elements. Aeris noticed an acrid scent in the air along with the very strong smell of dragon. More dragons than Aeris had ever seen walked the road though she expected that to be the case given where they were.

"It's ugly as fuck, but many dragons call this place home," Cutter said. "Dragon clans don't have homes like these, so we don't know what to do with them."

Aeris remained close to Cutter’s side. No sooner had they reached the dragon district did every dragon in sight turn to them as if sensing her presence. I’m here to see Windor. It’s important I see him, Aeris thought. It helped fight her urge to run away.

Cutter led Aeris deeper into the district, taking no notice of the strange stares from the other dragons. Aeris noticed that after looking at her, the dragons' eyes widened when they looked at Cutter just before they turned away. Eventually, the looks and stares stopped. The further they walked, the stronger the acrid smell became.

They stopped in front of a particular house. It was almost indistinguishable from the others with the same shabby exterior and wide door, but Windor’s scent made it clear who it belonged to. “Hold on, Snowflake,” Cutter said. She pulled on a thick rope hanging from a large bell beside the door. “Dragons don’t have locks on their doors, but they won’t like you walking into their place uninvited.”

“Don’t you worry about being robbed?”

Cutter laughed. “Snowflake, you have to be beyond fucking stupid to rob a dragon. It’s not like they have anything worth taking anyway.”

It didn’t take long before the door opened and Windor poked his head out. Judging from the sleepy look in his eyes, Aeris assumed they had woken him up.

Windor yawned loudly and frowned at his guests. “Do you have any idea how early it is?”

“I think what you really want to know is if I give a shit,” Cutter replied. “But I think you already know the answer since I’m here.”

Windor shook his head and straightened up his eyes wide. “C-Cutter! I didn’t know it was you!” He pushed the door the rest of the way open and bowed. “Please, forgive my rudeness. Won’t you come in?”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Cutter asked.

Windor tilted his head as he straightened up, but then his mouth fell open as he looked at Aeris. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ignore you. I just—What are you doing here?”

Before Aeris could reply, Cutter pushed her inside. “I’m sure whatever it is, it’s very important. Anyway, I gotta go. So she’s your responsibility now, Windor.” As she walked away, she called over her shoulder, “And if anything happens to her, I will personally come back here and do the same to you.”

Aeris looked around Windor's house. It was so different from the human homes she had been in. There were no floorboards, and the walls were bare. It only had one room though Aeris realized there wasn't much need for anything else. If dragons didn't read, they had no need for a library or anything of the sort, and she doubted they needed a kitchen. So like her room, it seemed Windor's house consisted of a single space where he fulfilled all his needs. In one corner of the room lay a pile of seemingly random junk. On the opposite side lay a worn mattress surrounded by several flat cushions but no other furniture. Even despite lack of the décor and furniture, the place had a comfortable feel.

“So this is what your house looks like,” Aeris said.

“Sorry, it’s not more…polished,” Windor said quickly. “I know you’re used to expensive human homes.”

“I think it’s lovely,” Aeris said truthfully.

Windor pulled up a frayed cushion. “Glad to hear it. Please sit.” When Aeris sat down, he asked. “So, why did you track me down?”

“First, I wanted to apologize for running out on you like that...Again.”

“It’s fine, Aeris. Honestly, I’m surprised Cutter has taken a liking to you. She hardly talks to anybody if it isn’t business.”

Aeris nodded and took several deep breaths to try and calm her nerves. Her heart wouldn’t slow down and her tail wrapped so tightly around her, it began to hurt. I have to do it. So the only option is just come out and say it, she thought. “I’m engaged.”

 Windor froze, his mouth slightly agape. Aeris stared at the floor, unable to look upon his face. The two sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. Realizing Windor wasn’t going to speak, Aeris decided to explain. “My master wants me to marry another dragon named Reks.”

“Marriage, that’s the thing the humans do, right?”

Aeris nodded, digging her claws further into the dirt. “It means Reks and I will be bonded for life.”

“Oh,” he said dejectedly. The sound of him in pain made Aeris feel sick. “Dragons do something similar, you know. We form bonded pairs and become mates for life. It’s not the same as human marriage I hear. I didn’t think domesticates did that sort of thing.” he added a small chuckle as if in hindsight to help diffuse the tension.

They don’t, Aeris thought, digging her claws in the floor. But my master needs me to, and I can’t deny him. Not when he’s done so much for me.

“So, you must really like this Reks if you chose him.”

Still staring at the floor, she shook her head. “But I don’t want him. I want you.”

A brief silence. “Then why marry him?” Windor asked.

She had been dreading that question. Because I’m a good dragon, and I have to do as my master wishes. She thought but didn't dare say out loud. Instead, she raised her head and said, “But there’s no reason why you and I can’t be together. Marriage isn’t necessarily about love. It’s a sacrifice I have to make for my master.”

Windor frowned. “What kind of sacrifice could your caretaker possibly need you to make that requires being bonded to someone you don’t want?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“Did you even ask?”

Aeris shook her head, chest tightening further. It was becoming hard to breathe, but she welcomed the idea of passing out if it meant not seeing the look of disappointment Windor wore. “He’s my master. He—”

“He doesn’t own you!”

Aeris flinched at the outburst. “You don’t understand. He takes care of me, feeds me, protects me. It’s because of him the humans don’t see me as a mindless beast. I care about him and it’s important that I show that.”

Even as she said it, the words sounded wrong to her. Maggie always told me I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to, but then why I feel so guilty? Why do I go behind his back, knowing it’s wrong?

Windor growled and started pacing around the room. Aeris said nothing and let him work through his feelings. She wished she had said nothing and this whole conversation had never happened. But she also knew there was no chance of that.

Eventually, Windor stopped pacing and sat down again. All the anger had left him, leaving him looking tired and broken. “So what happens now?” he asked.

“That’s up to you,” Aeris said softly. “I found out Reks and I…we will have to consummate our marriage.” When Windor tilted his head, she explained. “It means I have to mate with him.”

Windor snorted, but the pain never left his face. “We’re not bonded, so it makes no difference to me.”

Aeris could tell he was lying. “But it does to me. I’ve never been with a dragon before, and I want my first to be you.”

Windor’s eyes widened. “Wh-What?”

She stepped closer, her heart hammering even harder in her chest. “I said, I want my first experience with a dragon to be with you.”

“Are you sure about this?” Windor asked.

Aeris nuzzled the side of Windor’s face and under his chin. His scent had become much stronger. It was comforting and enticing. She let out a slow breath, all her fears and anxieties draining. All the times she expressed her love for her master flashed through her mind. But this time there was no fear or disgust. She shuddered at the thought of Windor’s touch, the feel of his hot breath on her neck, his scaled body pressed against hers. “Yes.”