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J B Dorman
Joel Dorman

Table of Contents

1st post 2nd post 3rd post

In the world of Talirim, the first ring

Visit Talirim, the first ring

Ongoing 525 Words

3rd post

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25/09/2021

I have made a second draft of the first part and begun work on the third, as well as begun laying down plans for the next part. Unfortunately the first part is largely dialogue an introductions, and the second part will focus on building the premise. However I plan to begin exploring the characters soon and intend to at the very least attempt to integrate some action by the third part (hopefully I can get away with it earlier) to get the ball rolling. I have yet to find an openning to introduce magic into the story, however I believe that the second part will give me an opportunity to explain the basics of magic, specifically the differences between standard 'lattice' based spells and the vastly different yet superficially similar 'caster' methods of magic.

I am unhappy with how I have written my Dialogue but I will attempt to rectify it in the third draft as well as generally improve the flow of writing. One particular challenge I have faced is having characters sound formal without making it harder to distinguish between them. I think the best solution is to spend a few hours, or even a day studying on this topic before I work on the third draft. However I still believe that I will reach my set deadline of october 8th easily likely uploading the stories first part even earlier. It will be one of the longer parts of the story, consisting of long scenes that are primarily dialogue so it will be a challenge to make it enjoyable to read. However this will allow the story to progress to it's first action and exploration sequences sooner while still leaving enough lore to be slowly dropped in later issues.

Hopefully the story will exist in a readable form after a fourth draft, or mabye after a revision of the third draft if I get particularly lucky.

12:57 AM 9/10/2021

Although technically an hour late the first part of Lost in the Stranded Easts has launched as is available here:

https://www.worldanvil.com/community/manuscripts/read/6209273254-j-b-dorman-lost-in-the-stranded-easts/c4489c8f-bd4c-492a-93d0-9b4eb8f0659f

 

I have spent the last few days largely sleepless as I puzzled together the third draft, trying to mediate two very different versions while improving on both of them. However I think I at least had some succes and I cannot wait for feedback on my crude, yet hopefully enjoyable work.

Although excited In truth I am not fully content with my writing or characterisation, but I have decided not to delay it any further and instead accept the readers judgements so I can improve my writing far faster than if I simply held it back with minimal feedback from my small circle of close peers. Anyone who has taken an interest in the story deserves to read it even in this state to judge it for themselves, and it would be selfish, in a way, for me to hold it back even if it means rudimentary improvements. I wholeheartedly believe releasing it now will lead to far greater improvements to my prose and characterisation than simply holding the story back for any longer, as an outside perspective is greatly needed.

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