Having not forgotten about the boy, Doctor Hansel arrived at the spacious place where patients gathered on their beds. Already expecting it to be an empty room, he sighed sadly at the sight around him, leaving him to wonder if he should give the boy some more time to decide whether he wants to stay or not.
His eyes wandered over the empty beds in front of him; some had clothes strewn all over them, others were covered with neatly folded blankets, showing signs of occupants coming and going freely in this place.
Returning to the spot where he ordered the child to stay, he closed his eyes briefly after reaching to see where Toby once stood.
"He left," expressing his own disappointment with himself for not having the patience to wait for someone to wait for him, knowing full well that he himself had wasted a lot of time wasting someone else's time.
Nevertheless, he can only guess where the boy is, which is in the cafeteria, where everyone in the building is currently. Dining on their meals like tomorrow.
A small chuckle escaped his lips before opening up his eyes. "I guess I need to be less patient from now on," Hansel murmured, a self-deprecating smile playing upon his lips. Realizing people have different levels of patience, and this is what led to his failure, he knows better next time to not waste anyone's time, including his own.
Now he needs to return to where everyone is currently, but there is something peculiar about this room, which is entirely empty at the moment of his arrival.
With a deep frown, he looked around, reminding him of the years when life before the apocalypse was fundamentally different.
Spotting a broken window in the far corner, he remembers the good old days where his sister worked along with him during their college years.
Hansel missed those days despite some troubling obstacles they had to face together, but at the end of the day, they had each other backs. Like any good sibling worldwide, the two of them were inseparable, almost always seen together, whether studying, relaxing, or venturing out to explore the world beyond campus walls.
Just the mere thoughts about his dead sister bring him great anguish as he stares blankly at the broken window with tears welling up in his eyes. His mind is flooded with memories of the happier times, for while everything has problems, they had each other and life was bearable.
But now, where danger is present everywhere, without knowing what will happen as one becomes an island unto themselves, loneliness starts to seep in little by little. Leaving him with bittersweet memories of the past that he has to carry with him alone.
Taking a deep breath, Hansel wipes away his tears, forcing a smile onto his face. "Sister," speaking to no one but himself in this lonely place, he feels guilty for not reaching up to her expectations. "How can I keep going like this when people are dying left and right?"
While he had saved many lives, there is still so much misery and death happening around the world. No matter how much he tries, it seems like he's losing hope fast, wishing things could just go back to the way they used to be, at least before the apocalypse happened.
Then a decision has been made, and he approaches where the broken window is before putting both of his knees on the floor as he prays quietly to himself, asking for forgiveness for his failures and pleading with God to help him save the remaining humanity that is crying out for help.
As he kneels there, praying deeply with a heavy heart, "If you are with her, God, please bring her back to me." Even though his not religious man, with the state of the world and feeling so powerless, desperation makes him say things he never thought he would.
Closing his eyes again, he felt his own heart tremble at how much work he had to endure and the constant guilt of the failures Hansel has to live up to his entire life.
"I am a good person, Lord; don't I deserve happiness too?" He asked, whispering his words through tight lips, patiently waiting for some sort of miraculous sign or comforting presence that would ease his troubled soul and guide him towards redemption. However, as the minutes tick by, there is nothing but empty silence in his empty world.
"I tried and tried, and in return, I'm surrounded by death and despair." His words grow quiet, almost inaudible as his shoulders slump under the weight of his grief. "It just won't stop; why must it continue?"
Continuing to pray for guidance, comfort, and strength, Hansel begs for forgiveness and mercy, hoping that his earnest supplications might somehow pierce the heavens and elicit a response from the divine. Despite his efforts, however, the broken window remains untouched, the wind whispers only sorrowful melodies, and the silence is oppressive, weighing heavily on his spirit.
There was no helpful voice speaking in his head or God coming down from the heavens to physically comfort him. Instead, there is absolutely nothing but his heavy heart, and it unnerves him how no one except himself can truly understand the extreme difficulties he has to face on a daily basis.
Frustration begins to build within him as he sits there in the empty room, his prayers seemingly falling on deaf ears and his pleas for solace and respite unanswered, leaving him feeling more isolated and helpless than ever before.
So many people admire him for his compassion, but he doesn't understand the hardships he is facing. He doesn't know if he is living up to everyone's expectations, including his peers and his sister, whom he hasn't forgotten, while also being reminded of how alone he is in dealing with all these problems.
Hansel feels the entire world is treating him unfairly, and this realization hits him hard, even causing him to start questioning his very purpose in doing good acts in this cruel and harsh world.
Feeling despondent and utterly spent, he eventually rose from his knees, wiping the moisture from his eyes as he casts a final, longing glance out the broken window.
"If God or my sister won't answer my calls, then no one will," confirming how hopeless his situation is becoming. He just needs to continue trying as there is nothing else he can do but weep for the personal struggles he is forced to face. At the end of the day, he yearns for sweet release from this endless cycle of pain and hardship.
"There you are."
A sudden male's voice greeted Hansel's ears as he swiftly turned to see no other than Danny standing in front of him before completely catching his attention off guard after noticing bloodied, torn pieces of clothing wrapped around his entire hands.
"Danny?" Surprise veiled his exhaustion and despair momentarily, causing him to blink rapidly. "What are you doing here and with your hands?" Eyes widening from the mere sight of them, "their bloody, what happened?!" His heart races; fearing the worst, he wasted no time in rushing towards his friend and holding one of them closely to his own face.
Looking away in shame, Danny doesn't want to worry about the doctor further for his own stupid mistakes, so he awkwardly pulled his hand back, not wanting to make a bigger scene than it already is. "Nothing, just a minor scuffle," he responded, half-lying about the severity of the situation to avoid alarming the man who he considers a good friend and partner.
"What about you? How's your day?" Forcing a smile, he turned to face him, hoping to forget about their little altercation, knowing the importance of maintaining peace in the building they currently reside in.
But the doctor insisted, angrily frowning as he took a step back before folding his arms together in demand. "Don't play dumb with me; your injuries are nothing but minor scuffles." Pointing out the state of his hands, he glanced back and forth between Danny's injured hands and his face multiple times in quick succession.
"Your hands are bloody, you look exhausted, and you reek of stress. What actually happened to you?" Tapping his foot impatiently, he refused to back down, knowing his friend wouldn't deceive him this easily.
Sighing in defeat, he gave into the man's demands, "fine," eyes closed for the briefest of moments before opening them, he finally admitted the truth.
"I messed up, okay?" Taking a deep breath before recounting his actions, "I had a mental breakdown that caused me to go into feral rage, destroying everything in my room," exposing the entirety of the events leading up to his current state.
"I panicked afterwards after seeing Unity gone again; unable to control myself, I became some raging animal," concluding his tragic tale of frustration and fear. "I just couldn't handle it anymore, so I lashed out violently," words dripping with remorse, shame, and exhaustion.
Stopping his own foot from tapping any further, Hansel realized he shouldn't blame Danny for anything, understanding that his partner is just as tired and worn down as he is. Placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, he added, "and it's not your fault. You've done nothing wrong."
Interrupting him abruptly by pushing his arm off his own shoulder, Danny cut him off, "It is my damn fault, doctor!" Blaming himself for his own foolish actions, "I lost my temper from one little thing and ended up destroying everything in my room," he began pacing left and right, anxiously thinking of the possible things that might go wrong if he actually did this to someone.
"Wouldn't that also be a risk factor when I could do this to someone, especially with Unity?" Feeling the icky feeling spreading within him for making such huge mistakes, he lowered his head in shame, hating himself for causing more trouble for them.
"You're not a bad person, Danny," the doctor quickly reassured, his tone soothing and calm. "You did something terrible because you were pushed beyond your limits, that's all," encouraging him to accept what it is and receive a way to clean it up.
"You don't need to hide the truth; we're friends, aren't we?" The young doctor extended his hand towards his partner, offering him a comforting smile and saying, "We'll deal with the aftermath together, just like always," giving encouragement for Danny to stand back up and face whatever consequences they must endure together. "It's time to focus on moving forward now, don't you think?"
Stopping in front of the man, Danny was lost for words at how this guy can be this stupid but kind nonetheless. "I don't think I am good enough to take care of a disabled woman," stating his second concern, not wanting to repeat the same mistake he made with his room.
"What if I had lost my temper for the third time, and maybe this time with deadly consequences?" The young man's voice trails off with guilt clouding his thoughts, replaying all those dangerous scenarios over and over again: "Maybe she will be scared of me or hate me for the frustrations I have with her."
Instead, Hansel shook his head and said, "no, you won't because both of us are able to differentiate what is right and wrong," saying with confidence, "Sometimes people just lash out in unexpected ways due to uncontrolled emotions or pressures. We all have to learn to manage them as we grow older, don't you agree?"
Pointing out the fact about themselves, he continues to emphasize further, "that includes you, Danny, and me as well," declaring that he himself hasn't been perfect throughout this ordeal either, "if we let ourselves be held back by our fears and doubts, then what's the point of even trying?"
"So your saying we have to try our hardest to do what is morally right?"
A sad smile crept into his lips as, deep down, Hansel held lingering doubt about his own perseverance and determination to continue to help others despite how exhausted and hopeless he feels everyday.
"Yep, exactly that, Danny," nodding solemnly, "it's not easy, I know, but we must push through, for Unity, for yourself, and for everyone else." Adding emphasis to every name he mentioned, he seems to mean what he says, where there is a glimmer of uncertainty behind his words, a silent plea for reassurance and support from his friend.
"You are not alone; it will never be as long as we get each other," the doctor's encouragement brought both of them to embrace one another tightly, savoring the comfort and strength only a true friend can provide in the darkest of times.
"We are living in a community that shares the same anguish as we are going," his warm voice echoed in his friend's ear. "Slowly but surely, we can regain hope and build anew in place of all the loss and grief we endured." bringing a tear to his friend's eye, the two depart their warm hug.
Wiping a tear off with his thumb, "you are definitely my best friend now," Danny announced jokingly as the two shared a quick laugh and glance at one another, "so I guess I'm stuck with you forever," teasing, but with genuine affection laced in his tone, "Hansel, I don't know where my life would be if it weren't for you," deep appreciation voiced out in gratitude.
Slightly blushing, Hansel chuckled lightly, "I could say the same for you," smiling warmly, "who else would put up with my nagging and constant worry?"
