Following
Grandmaster Navior
Michael Ray Johnson

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Mindless Chapter 2: Prayer Beads Chapter 3: Nightmares Chapter 4: Secrets Chapter 5: Sudden Decisions Chapter 6: Reminders of a Life Now Gone Chapter 7: Investigations Chapter 8: Acquaintances Old and New Chapter 9: An Unexpected Companion Chapter 10: Annai Chapter 11: Ramifications Chapter 12: Rain, Ice, and Sheep Chapter 13: Homecoming Chapter 14: Night Terrors Chapter 15: Getaway Chapter 16: Memories Chapter 17: Petty Politics Chapter 18: Sleep Deprivation Chapter 19: The Funeral Chapter 20: In Plain Sight Chapter 21: Catalyst Chapter 22: The Foretellings of Eleuia Chapter 23: Isyaria Chapter 24: Fevionawishtensen Chapter 25: Friends Old and New Chapter 26: Extended Families Chapter 27: The Pundritta Chapter 28: Upheaval Chapter 29: Prayer and Meditation Chapter 30: Friends, Foes, Both Chapter 31: Love, Hate, Both Chapter 32: Truth from Art Chapter 33: Defining Reality Chapter 34: Shattered Illusions Chapter 35: Confessions Chapter 36: Taking Responsibility Chapter 37: The Fomaze Chapter 38: Plots and Acceptance Chapter 39: Infiltration Chapter 40: Coins for the Poor Chapter 41: Slay Chapter 42: Friction Chapter 43: Harsh Medicine Chapter 44: Can't Sleep, Can't Breathe Chapter 45: Agernon Chapter 46: The Queen Chapter 47: Darkness Ascending Chapter 48: The Enemy Within Chapter 49: From the Lowest Lows to the Highest Highs Chapter 50: The Pearl Chapter 51: Execution Chapter 52: Phantoms Chapter 53: Defenders of Knowledge Chapter 54: Fire Chapter 55: Flight Chapter 56: Break Free Chapter 57: Call to Arms Chapter 58: Hiding Chapter 59: The Siege of Knowledge Chapter 60: Strength of Mind Chapter 61: The Power of Knowledge Chapter 62: The Infinite Dimensions of the Mind Chapter 63: Mind and Matter Chapter 64: Her Right Mind Chapter 65: Survivors Chapter 66: Victors Chapter 67: Turning the Tide

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Chapter 31: Love, Hate, Both

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A tingling ran down his arm, but Jorvanultumn paid it no mind, as he had paid very little mind to anything in the past few hours. Fevionawishtensen traced equations on his skin, closing cuts, removing bruises, and he hardly noticed. All he could do was stare up at the sky and the stars, but not even really noticing them either.

He did notice the thud to his shoulder though.

Fevionawishtensen was glaring at him. I am trying to talk to you.

He must have missed her signing. “Sorry.”

I know this is hard for you. You feel betrayed. So do I. But they will call you in soon. You need to snap out of it.

He nodded. “You’re right.”

She handed him his robe. You should get dressed. It would not look good for you to go before the Lamdritta in your underclothes.

He smiled and took the robe. He was seated on a stool in a small antechamber outside the Lamdritta’s meeting room—not the audience chamber he had spoken to them in before, but a truly private room and not a public space. It was the place where the Lamdritta met to deliberate and discuss matters of governance and law, where they made decisions on behalf of Chithishtheny as a whole. It was a place where, normally, only the Lamdritta and their most important staff were allowed to enter.

His arms ached as he pulled the robe on and he grimaced.

Fevionawishtensen looked at him with sad eyes. I’ve done what I can to heal your wounds, but I am not a medic. She beat you up pretty badly.

He shook his head. “No, she didn’t. She could have done far worse. She shredded Hilkorultumn’s wings. How’s he doing by the way?”

I don’t know. There’s been no news.

Jorvanultumn took a deep breath and held back tears. “She shredded his wings, but nothing in the torrent of things she threw at me ever hit my wings. She battered and bruised me, but did nothing that I won’t recover from. She had such control. Such precision. She’s unbelievably powerful.”

Fevionawishtensen leaned over and kissed him. Even bending his neck back a little to allow the kiss was painful, but he ignored it, just like he was ignoring all the other pain.

The physical pain, at any rate.

I swear to you, she will pay for this. When I find her, I will kill her.

Jorvanultumn sighed. “She could have killed me, Fevionawishtensen. She could have done it so easily. But she didn’t.”

I don’t care. She betrayed you. She betrayed me. I… She hesitated and rubbed her eyes. I let her get close to me. I let her… She shivered. I let her touch me in ways only you have ever touched me.

“You slept together?”

Fevionawishtensen wiped her eyes again. You weren’t here and she had no one else. We needed each other. So I thought. Clearly she was just using me.

“I’m not so sure.”

Fevionawishtensen scowled at him. Of course she was. She is… She is… She threw her arms wide in exasperation, spun around and kicked the wall. I don’t even have a sign for the word. This! She flicked her hand, forefinger and pinky extended. This will be my sign for it.

It was a common vulgar gesture that had no actual word associated with it, but it was used to indicate extreme contempt or distaste for someone or something.

You mean the Pundritta?”

Yes.

“She said to tell you she loves you and that she’s sorry.”

Fuck her! If she loved me or you, she wouldn’t have betrayed us.

“But you love her, don’t you? I do.”

I love the person I thought she was. I hate the person she really is. I swear, I will kill her. She sneered as she signed kill.

“She’s more powerful than you.”

Then I will become more powerful first and then kill her.

Jorvanultumn just nodded. There was no point arguing further. Part of him wanted to kill Chiansamorkin too. Kill her for what she’d done to Hilkorultumn, for threatening him and Sinitïa, for possibly being involved in Meleng’s abduction—though he was inclined to believe her when she said she had not done it. He probably should kill her. She was Pundritta; it was his duty. But he could not help wonder how much choice she had in the matter. Membership passed from diare to siare just like so much else in Isyar society. She would have been indoctrinated into it from childhood, given no choice whatsoever. And she had talked of loss. Such loss.

“She said she had a fomase.”

Fevionawishtensen stopped pacing and stared at him. What?

“She didn’t give any details, just that the fomase was gone. I got the impression her fomase must have died very soon after they met. I have no idea how.”

Fevionawishtensen’s faced drooped. Gods, that’s horrible. Her face hardened again. But I will still kill her.

Jorvanultumn did not know whether to groan or laugh.

The door to the meeting room opened, revealing Reszidbovroh, flanked by two Hgirh. Reszidbovroh stepped into the antechamber. “They will see you now. Fevionawishtensen, as Jorvanultumn’s fomase, you may accompany him.”

Jorvanultumn stood up and took Fevionawishtensen’s hand. Together, they walked through the door. A cool breeze greeted them, coming through the partially open ceiling. The room was long and rectangular. Several flame globes on the walls provided light. At the far side sat a large, circular low-table with space for ten Isyar. The three remaining members of the Lamdritta sat on adjacent cushions on the far side, Maramintorin in the centre with Griholbovroh to his left and Paydamat to his right.

Reszidbovroh led Jorvanultumn and Fevionawishtensen to the table and indicated that they should take seats across from the Lamdritta. The two Hgirh remained by the door. Still holding each other’s hand, Jorvanultumn and Fevionawishtensen sat on the indicated cushions.

“Thank you for coming, Jorvanultumn,” Maramintorin said. “We know this must be a hard time for you. This is a difficult time for us all, but it must way particularly heavy on you. We all pray to Nature for Hilkorultumn’s timely recovery.”

“Thank you, Lamdirh,” Jorvanultumn said.

“However,” Maramintorin went on, “we need to discuss former Lamdhir Chiansamorkin. We have heard what you told the Hgirh: that she is the Pundhir of a group called the Pundritta, who lead an organization of Isyar Darkness Worshippers. However, we would like to hear a more thorough explanation directly from you.”

“Of course, Lamdirh. The name Pundritta applies to both the organisation as a whole and to the council that rules over them. I only learned about them on this return home, but my family has hunted them for many generations.” He proceeded to tell them everything he knew so far of the Pundritta, and then what had happened with Chiansamorkin last night.

This is very disturbing,” Paydamat said when he finished. “Stories about Chiansamorkin are already starting to spread. This could cause great panic.”

Griholbovroh harrumphed. “It can be contained. What we have is one disturbed individual who went on a rampage. It is rare, but not unknown. Any panic will subside once it is clear she acted alone.”

“Did she act alone, though?” Maramintorin said. “Meleng Drago was abducted by a mentalist. If Chiansamorkin was involved in that, she must have had a mentalist as an accomplice, if not others.”

Griholbovroh scowled. “You’re suggesting this Pundritta business is true? Chiansamorkin alone is not proof of it.”

Maramintorin nodded. “Yes, but Hilkorultumn’s diare’s records correctly identified the symbol in her eye, according to Jorvanultumn. That, in the very least, is evidence this organisation does exist.”

Griholbovroh harrumphed again. “We have only Jorvanultumn’s statement that the symbols matched. A tiny symbol in the back of her eye. It could be easy to mistake what it looks like for something else.”

Maramintorin shook his head. “I agree that we should see these records, but I do not see any reason to doubt Jorvanultumn’s eyesight in this.”

“It was actually Princess Sinitïa Alessia Deanna Folith who recognised the symbol,” Jorvanultumn interrupted. “I thought it was familiar, but it would have taken me longer to recognise it.”

“Then I see no reason to doubt the Princess’s eyesight,” Maramintorin said. “My point, however, Lammdir Griholbovroh, is that you seem to be making judgements based on not wanting this Pundritta to exist. I can assure you, I too do not want it to exist either. But wanting or not wanting something does not create reality. As an enchanter, you know this better than most of us. We must not ignore what evidence we have.”

Griholbovroh sighed loudly. “You are right. I concede that we have some evidence that this organisation might exist. However, the possibility also remains that Chiansamorkin is merely mentally disturbed. She learned stories about this Pundritta and decided to copy them. Lamdir Paydamat, what are your thoughts on this?”

Paydamat raised her eyebrows. “I think Chiansamorkin’s mental health is irrelevant. She has engaged in criminal activity and she must be caught. Meleng Drago is still missing and she may be able to provide information about where he is.”

“If I may interject again,” Jorvanultumn said, “I believe Chiansamorkin when she said she did not take Meleng Drago and did not know where he was.”

“She could have easily lied about that,” Griholbovroh said.

Jorvanultumn nodded. “She could have, but I do not believe she did.”

“Do you believe Meleng Drago was taken by Darkness Worshippers?” Paydamat asked.

“I cannot be sure, but I think it is possible.”

“But if he was taken by Darkness Worshippers,” Griholbovroh said, “and Chiansamorkin is one of them, why would she not know about it, especially since she is their Pundhir?”

Jorvanultumn sighed, and Fevionawishtensen squeezed his hand. “In my travels with my human friends, we were pursued by Darkness Worshippers on several occasions. However, their efforts did not seem coordinated with one another. It was as though different groups of them were acting independently of each other. It is possible that the ones who took Meleng Drago were not operating under her instructions.”

“But are they not a single organisation?” Griholbovroh asked.

“This is a single organisation,” Jorvanultumn said, “but clearly Chiansamorkin was able to do things on her own.”

Griholbovroh looked about to protest, but sighed. “I concede your point.”

“Then we are no closer to finding Meleng Drago,” Maramintorin said.

“Not true,” Paydamat said. “We now have these lists of signs and symbols. Fevionawishtensen, distribute them to the Hgirh under your command. Pass them on to your diare as well so they can be spread farther afield. Everyone must learn them.”

“Are we to stop everyone now to look for symbols on their person?” Griholbovroh said.

“We may have little other choice,” Maramintorin said.

Paydamat shook her head. “Absolutely not. It would only spread panic and would be a violation of individual privacy. However, keeping our eyes open when in public is only to be expected. Fevionawishtensen, continue the search for Meleng Drago in the same manner as you have been doing, only with the added information from Hilkorultumn’s diare. We also must not forget that we do not yet know whether Meleng Drago was abducted by Darkness Worshippers. It might have been someone else. All we can be relatively sure of at this time is that it was an Isyar. Try to keep this as quiet as possible, but we can no longer deny this reality.”

Fevionawishtensen bowed her head. She let go of Jorvanultumn’s hand. As you wish.

“Before you go,” Maramintorin said, “there are two other matters to resolve. Regardless of the existence or non-existence of the Pundritta, we cannot deny that there is a real threat active in the world today. With Volganths active and preparing for war against us, it makes sense that they would place agents in other lands, such as Arnor and our own. And while the Will-Breaker might or might not have been responsible for bringing this war upon us, it is clear from their own statements at Scovese that the Volganths fear her. For this reason, we have reached the conclusion that she deserves assistance in her fight against them. Therefore, Jorvanultumn, we find your reasons for temporarily suspending your elispt and returning to Isyaria early justified. We rule that you have not broken you elispt in doing so—provided you resume your elispt immediately upon departing Isyaria again.”

Fevionawishtensen took Jorvanultumn’s hand again and squeezed it.

“Thank you, Lamdirh,” Jorvanultumn said. “And thank you to the entire Lamdritta. I am grateful for the wisdom you have shown.”

Maramintorin continued, “As I mentioned, we agree that Princess Felitïa Asa Folith, known as the Will-Breaker deserves our assistance. It is our judgement that she should receive the best possible assistance. Therefore, we have decided that Lamdir Paydamat should accompany you back to Arnor, and she has consented.”

Paydamat bowed her head in acknowledgement.

Jorvanultumn frowned. He had not considered this possibility. What should he say? “Thank you again. However, with all due respect, I have already asked Mikranasta to come with me.”

“And has she accepted?” Maramintorin asked.

“Not as yet, but with your ruling, I am certain that she now will.”

“Mikranasta is a skilled and valued citizen of Chithishtheny,” Maramintorin said. “While she would undoubtedly be an excellent choice, the simple fact is Lamdir Paydamat is an even better choice. If Princess Felitïa Asa Folith’s powers are what you suspect they are, she needs the absolute best we can send. Also, she is royalty in Arnor and should be afforded the best in acknowledgement of that.”

Griholbovroh tapped his staff on the side of the low-table. “Take what we offer, Jorvanultumn. We are overlooking the disruptions you have caused due to the extraordinary circumstances, but do not push us too far.”

Jorvanultumn bowed his head. “Of course, Lammdir. Thank you all again.” They were right. Paydamat was the best choice—at least, based on what they knew. While Jorvanultumn suspected Mikranasta was the more powerful of the two, she had deliberately hidden the extent of her abilities. The Lamdritta had no way of knowing this. However, even if Mikranasta was the more powerful, the difference was small. Paydamat was more than capable of providing Felitïa with assistance. He had simply grown attached to the idea that he could convince Mikranasta to go with him, but he should not let emotion cloud his judgement.

That said,” Maramintorin said, “we have given Lamdir Paydamat discretionary powers to choose her team to take with her. We cannot afford a large number as we must look to our own defences, but a single assistant plus an honour guard is within our means. Lamdir Paydamat?”

Jorvanultumn smiled. If Paydamat chose Mikranasta, that would be better than he could have possibly imagined when he first came here. To have both of them helping Felitïa…

Paydamat stood up. “I have decided to bring my siare Nascanmat with me.”

Jorvanultumn’s heart sank.

“I can see your disappointment, Jorvanultumn. I mean no disrespect to Mikranasta, but while Nascanmat may not possess her skill, he is intimately familiar with my methods. Plus, Mikranasta has a siare of her own that she should not leave alone at a crucial time in his training.”

Jorvanultumn bowed his head. “I understand.”

“I have also decided to take Fevionawishtensen. We have worked well together in matters of security in the past. Her magical and martial skills will be invaluable should we encounter violence.”

Fevionawishtensen bowed her head.

Jorvanultumn bowed his head as well to hide his smirk. Considering Fevionawishtensen had already decided to come anyway, Paydamat’s decision only made it formal.

Paydamat sat again, and Maramintorin addressed the table. “The final matter before we adjourn is the situation regarding Princess Sinitïa Alessia Deanna Folith. The matter is hereby dropped. It has done nothing more than waste this council’s time.”

Griholbovroh scowled, but said nothing.

Thank you,” Jorvanultumn said.

“Unless there is an objection, this meeting is adjourned,” Maramintorin said. “Fevionawishtensen, you should return to your duty. Jorvanultumn, you are free to go.”

Jorvanultumn and Fevionawishtensen both bowed their heads and then stood together. They turned to face each other and she smiled at him. They touched foreheads and wing tips.

“I will see you soon,” Jorvanultumn said.

She nodded and smiled again.

He smiled back. I will check on Princess Sinitïa Alessia Deanna Folith, and let her know the news.” He turned to face the Lamdritta and placed his hand on his chest. “Pleasant thoughts to you all.”

“And to you,” Maramintorin said as they all returned the gesture.

Jorvanultumn turned and left the room.

* * * * *

There were paint splatters on the floor and walls of Sinitïa’s room, even a few on the bed where Jeanne lay—though none on Jeanne herself. Sinitïa was barefoot and wearing only a plain shift. She was also covered in paint splashes—on her shift, face, and arms. She was standing by an easel with a large canvas on it. The painting was a mash of colours in the background—as though she had just thrown paint at the canvas. Over top of the chaotic background was a somewhat twisted image of a pale, bald person—an Isyar—with white eyes and… Were those fangs? The Isyar had fangs.

“Is everything all right?” Jorvanultumn asked.

“I’ve been painting.”

“Rather violently,” Captain Gen said. He was seated in the corner near the door, free of paint splotches.

“I was angry,” Sinitïa said.

Gen chuckled. “You certainly were. It’s been...interesting, I suppose is the word. Not exactly entertaining, but interesting to watch.”

Jorvanultumn approached the easel and peered more closely at the painting. There was a small mark in the Isyar’s left eye. “Is this…?”

Sinitïa scowled. “Chian, yes.”

“Why does she have fangs?”

“I asked the same question,” Gen said.

“Because I wanted her to have them. It shows she’s a liar and can’t be trusted.”

It makes a certain sense,” Gen said. “I’m not an expert in art, but I will admit that if I saw that hanging somewhere, my immediate response would be to assume the Isyar was cruel or untrustworthy. It’s really very good. You’re quite talented, my dear.”

Sinitïa’s scowl deepened. “I hate her.”

“Understandably, I should say.” Gen stood up. “Well, my dear, now Jorvanultumn is here, I need to attend to my business, but if you need me, just call. I or Miana will be here as fast as we can.” He headed for the door, but stopped to clasp hands with Jorvanultumn first. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Hilkorultumn is still alive,” Jorvanultumn said.

Gen smiled sadly. “I meant Chiansamorkin. You obviously loved her a great deal, and her betrayal must hurt.”

Jorvanultumn closed his eyes briefly and nodded. “Thank you.”

Gen patted him on the arm. “I’m here for you too if you need me.” He pushed the door open.

“Etiënne?” Sinitïa called.

He paused and looked back.

“Thank you for being here with me.”

Any time.”

“And thank you for being my friend.”

Gen nodded and gave her a quick salute. “My pleasure.” He headed out the door, Jeanne bounding after him.

Sinitïa waved to the dog, then threw herself onto the bed. She rolled over onto her back and looked up at Jorvanultumn. “How are you doing?”

“I am fine.”

She looked at him with narrow eyes. “I don’t believe you. Like Etiënne said, you loved Chian. So did I, but you probably loved her more. I don’t believe you’re not hurting.”

He shrugged. “I do not wish to burden you with it. You are burdened with enough already.”

“But that’s what friends do. They listen to their friends’ problems and help if they can.” She sat up and patted the bed. “Sit with me?”

He sat on the bed beside her. “I have some good news.”

Her eyes widened. “Do you know where Meleng is?”

He shook his head and her head slumped. “I am sorry. I did not mean to get your hopes up.”

“That’s okay. I didn’t really expect that’s what the news would be anyway. You’d have been a lot more excited when you got here.”

He smiled. “I suppose you are right.”

“What’s the news?”

“The Lamdritta has dismissed your case. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Oh, that.” She shrugged. “I don’t really care about that. What about your...thing?”

“My elispt?”

She nodded.

“They have also found in my favour. They have ruled that my actions are justified.”

“That sounds good.” She smiled. “I’m glad for you.”

“They have also decided that Paydamat will come with us when we leave.”

Sinitïa scowled. “But I thought you wanted Mikranasta to.”

“I do, but they have made their decision.”

“Well, it’s a dumb one. I don’t like Paydamat.”

“You should not be so hard on Paydamat. She is a very powerful mentalist. She will be able to help Felitïa.”

Sinitïa looked away from him. “If you say so.”

They sat in silence for a few moments. Eventually, Sinitïa tapped him on the arm. “Tell me about Fevionawishtensen.”

“What do you wish to know?” he asked.

“How did you meet?”

“It was nothing special.”

“Tell me.”

“I was in the library in the basement of the Governance Building. There was a disagreement between two other Isyar over a book. It was not extreme. It was just an argument with a lot of yelling and a few threats. The Élite were called and Fevionawishtensen was the one who arrived. I only saw her from a distance at first, and she saw me. When the bond between fomasee forms, it is very fast. It takes no time at all.”

“So you just knew?”

“We just knew, though we did not get a chance to introduce ourselves to each other until the next day.”

“That must be so weird.”

“What do you mean?”

Sinitïa leaned back, extending her arms behind her to support herself. “Just seeing someone and knowing you’re fo-ma-say or whatever it is.”

Fomase,” Jorvanultumn said.

Fomase,” she repeated.

“Very good. That was almost perfect.”

She grinned. “I’m not good at other languages. But anyway, yeah, to just know that you’re bonded or whatever to someone else. That’s weird.”

“It is the way things work with Isyar.”

“It’s a nice story though. I’m glad you found her.”

He smiled. “As am I. She will still be coming with us back to Arnor.”

Sinitïa sat back up. “Yay! When we get back, will I be able to call her Feviona? Is that the right short form?”

“That is the first portion of her name, yes. As for whether you can call her that is up to her.”

“Why is it so important to use the whole name?”

He looked at her and smiled. “Names are important to Isyar. They hold our histories. The first part of the name is what makes the Isyar unique. It holds their personal history. The second part of the name conveys the family history, which is just as much a part of the Isyar as their own personal actions. To leave off the end of the name is to say their family’s achievements mean nothing.”

She scrunched her nose and stared at him for a moment, then shrugged. “I don’t really get it, but I respect it. I won’t call Fevionawishtensen by a short form unless she says it’s okay.”

“Thank you.”

I like her. I really do. I hope she doesn’t betray us too.”

He glared at her.

Her face reddened. “Sorry. I didn’t mean...just…”

He shook his head. “It is all right. I understand.”

“I didn’t mean to bring up Chian. I know how hurt you are even if you won’t admit it.”

He lowered his head and sighed. “I have not denied it. I just…”

“Don’t want to burden me, I know.” She took his hand and held it in both of hers. “Come on, tell me.”

He put his other hand on both of hers. “You are right. I am hurt. I grew up with Chiansamorkin. We were best of friends and inseparable. Everyone thought the bond would form between us when we came of age. We thought so too, so much so that we would pretend it already had.”

Sinitïa curled her lip. “That means you had sex, doesn’t it?”

Jorvanultumn chuckled. “Yes, though that was not the entirety of it.”

“It’s okay. I won’t judge.” She smiled smugly. “Go on.”

There is not much else to tell. We had a falling out when I bonded with Fevionawishtensen, then I had to leave for my elispt. We made up when I got back a couple days ago and you know the rest.”

“And you decided to make her part of your family!” Sinitïa clapped her hands. “I like that bit. The fomase?”

Fomaze,” he corrected.

Fomaze,” she repeated. “Fomase and fomaze, is that right?”

He nodded.

She beamed. “I’m starting to get it!”

“You are. However, the fomaze will not be happening now.”

She gave him a sad smile. “Not with Chian, anyway. You loved her, didn’t you?”

He tried to respond yes, but the word choked in his throat. He coughed to try to hide the reaction.

Sinitïa wiped a tear from her own eye. “I love her too. Not like you did, I’m sure. I didn’t know her as well as you. I only knew her a couple of days really. I think. Days are hard to count here.”

Jorvanultumn wiped his face with his sleeve, then took a moment to compose himself. “Yes, I loved her. Almost as much as I love Fevionawishtensen. Maybe as much. I…” The words choked in his throat again.

Sinitïa took his hand again and looked him in the eye. Her own eyes were filling with tears. “It’s okay. We’re alone. You don’t have to put on the brave act.”

He nodded and closed his eyes, tears pouring down his face. She put her arms around him and held him tight while he cried. She was crying too.

He was not sure how long he sobbed into her shoulder, but by the time they were both done, his head ached. He was otherwise feeling better though—mentally, at any rate. His body still ached from the beating Chiansamorkin had given him.

Sinitïa sniffled and wiped her eyes. “It’s hard to lose people.”

“Meleng is not lost. We will find him.”

“Yes, but he’s gone until then, and it’s hard.”

He nodded. “Yes, of course. I am sorry. I did not mean to imply it was not.”

“That’s okay.” She sniffled again and then was quiet for a moment. Then she shivered. “I had a dream last night that I found the person who took Meleng. He didn’t know I was there, so I snuck up behind him and put my hands…” She shivered again. “I put my hands around his neck like this.” She leaned behind Jorvanultumn and put her hands around his neck. “Then I...I…”

“You strangled him?”

She let go of him and lay on her side, curling up into a ball. “I...I killed him. I’ve never killed anyone before.”

“And you still have not. It was just a dream, Sinitïa.”

“I’ve never killed anyone in a dream before either.” She curled up tighter. “I screamed at him too. I said terrible things. You know how sometimes you think words that you wouldn’t actually use?”

“I think so.”

“In the dream, I said the words. I was so angry. Am I a terrible person?”

“No, of course not. Anger is a natural reaction. Meleng is your friend.”

She sniffled and sat up slowly. “He’s my best friend. More, really. I never really had a friend before him. Not a real one. My handmaids would be friendly with me, and we would laugh and tell stories, but it wasn’t really friendship, you know? My mother loves me. I know she does, and I love her too. But she also thinks I’m stupid and she won’t let me meet people and experience the world. I know I’m not very smart, but…” She paused and turned her head to look at him. “Meleng would have stopped me to say I shouldn’t say that I’m not smart.”

Jorvanultumn smiled. “Yes, you are right. I apologise. You should not be so harsh on yourself.”

“That’s okay. I’m just kidding around a little. I’m not smart. Meleng just says that to be nice. Anyway, the only people I was allowed to spend time with was Annai and her friends, and they always treated me terribly. They made me feel stupid. Then Meleng came, and he treated me like...a person. I wasn’t an annoyance like Annai treated me. He actually listened to me, and he answered my questions. Everyone else always hated answering my questions. But how was I supposed to learn anything if they wouldn’t answer my questions? Meleng actually respected me. And they hated him for it. Then through him, I met other friends, like Felitïa—well, she’s my sister, but also my friend—and Nin-Akna, and you.” She looked at him and smiled. After a moment, her face fell. “I miss him, and I’m so scared I’ll never see him again.”

Jorvanultumn placed a hand on her back. “I understand, and we will find him.”

“Everybody thinks we’re boyfriend and girlfriend, and I suppose, in a way, we are. Just not in the sex way.”

“You love him?”

She nodded and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “More than anything. I think I only realised how much after he was gone, so I’ve never really told him. I think he knows, but… When you talk to him, do you ever talk about me? Has he ever said anything?”

“I have questioned him about his feelings for you before. I think he is confused, but I do believe he loves you. Like you say, not in the sex way, but I believe he loves you like you were his fomase.”

“Can you be fomasee without sex? I know you can do fomaze like that, but fomase?”

“Sinitïa, love does not require sex.”

“Then why does everyone treat it that way?”

Jorvanultumn hesitated a moment, trying to think of a good answer. None came to mind. “I do not know, but does it matter what others think?”

It took her a moment to respond, but eventually she shrugged. “I suppose not.”

“Then I think you have your answer.”

She huddled over and peered at him, smiling coyly. “He’s my fomase?”

“If you wish him to be and he wishes you to be. It is not automatic like with Isyar.”

She hugged her knees to her chest. “When we find him, I’ll tell him how much I love him. I want him to know.”

“I think that is a good plan. Talking of plans, do you still want to paint and watch for signs?”

She sat up straight. “Is that still possible? We don’t have Chian anymore to make the heating stones.”

“We do not need her. I have a way I can do it myself with some help from Fevionawishtensen.”

“Then yes!”

“Then we should get ready. It will be dawn in under two hours. We need to get things set up.”

She jumped to her feet. “I’ll get cleaned up and dressed.” She bounded over to the chest with her clothes, but then she paused and turned back to face Jorvanultumn. “I have an idea. Not for right away. It would be after we get Meleng back.”

Jorvanultumn nodded. “Go ahead.”

“You know the fomaze thing. It’s about expanding families, right? About making good friends part of you family?”

Jorvanultumn nodded. He had a suspicion where she was going with this.

“Well, now that you don’t have Chian, I thought...well, I told you what my family is like with me. I love them, but I can never go back to them. I’d have to leave Meleng, and I can’t do that. They’d kill him if he went with me, so we have to stay away. So I kind of don’t have a family anymore, except Felitïa, I suppose. And Meleng… Has he ever told you about his family?”

“He told me a little when we first met, but he does not talk of them much.”

She frowned. “Yeah, he doesn’t talk about them with me either, except when I asked him about them. Even then, he didn’t say much. Did you know he hasn’t heard from them in a really long time?”

Jorvanultumn nodded. “I know.”

“I think he’s afraid they’re dead or they don’t want him around anymore, so he doesn’t really have a family anymore. But he’s your friend, right. You two are like best friends. He loves you even if he doesn’t say so. And you love him, right?”

He nodded again.

Sinitïa scrunched her shoulders and tilted her head. “So…?”

Jorvanultumn stood up. “You are suggesting Fevionawishtensen and I perform the fomaze with you and Meleng.”

She smiled coyly again, but said nothing.

“It has never been done with humans that I know of.”

She slumped. “Is that a problem?”

“There are some who would say it is, but no, I do not think it is a problem.”

Her eyes widened. “Then you’ll do it?”

At first, he was not sure why he had not thought of this before, but the answer was soon obvious. He had been too caught up with Chiansamorkin. Until Meleng had disappeared, he had virtually ignored Meleng and Sinitïa. But Meleng was a loyal friend. Without Meleng, he would have had a much harder time enduring his time away from Isyaria and his time away from Fevionawishtensen. The answer to Sinitïa’s question was obvious.

“If Fevionawishtensen agrees, then yes.”

She squealed, ran over to him, and threw her arms around him. “Oh thank you!” She kissed him on the cheek. “I bet this will make Meleng really happy!”

“We do have to find him first,” he reminded her.

She nodded vigorously. “There’s a room just down the hall with a bath. I’ll go get cleaned up and dressed.” She took a step back from him, her face turning serious. “Then I’ll get my paints and we can go find the asshole who took my Melly.”


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