Dear Diary,
Life is boring now. School has ended for the summer, so I'm just... alone here. At the Magic College. I found a few students didn't have any place to go home to, so I said they're free to stay in the dorms. I'm bringing them celery and carrot cake every day.
You'd think that would make them hate me. Maybe even want to kill me. But instead, they thank me for my hospitality. I'm not being hospitable. I'm feeding you goddamn celery!
That being said... I have run out of celery. I fed it to the students, and now I don't have a meal. But... I did find something else to eat. There's this merchant in town with a foreign delicacy. He calls them... corn dogs.
Now, I was hesitant about these dogs of corn. I mean, I would never eat a dog. I've been told I resemble one. But I was assured that it was not dog meat. Apparently it's Onker meat, from the fire pigs in the desert. Onker meat cooks very nicely and easily.
Then, it's covered in some kind of breading. Now, you know what bread means. It's BAKED! THIS IS A BAKED GOOD! YOU KNOW I LOVE BAKED GOODS!
So add that to my list of three favorite foods, in order (this order changes often):
- Corn Dogs
- Celery
- Carrot Cake
Wait, why do all three start with a C? That's a weird coincidence. Is that like... some deep-seated psychological thing? Nah, can't be. I just like corn dogs, celery, and carrot cake. Maybe I should expand my culinary horizons. Then I can find good food for someone to poison me with.
Your Soon-to-be-Dead Grand Wizard,
Felonius Questus
