Matsias followed Mrs. Putyam, but he was surprised that she didn't take him to Mrs. Wayteel's office, but to Westwood House. They walked to the back of the common--where Mrs. Putyam's office was in Victoria House. They name on the door said Collins.
The office was cozy. It had plush red carpet, and the chairs inside were cushioned, not the uncomfortable chairs that he always imagined being in a teacher's office. The desk was rather small and slim, almost more of a table. It was clear and uncluttered, with only a single folder on top. Ms. Collins was tall enough and prim enough to look as demanding as Mrs. Putyam, yet somehow, she didn't. She had wide, hazel eyes that were warm, rather than cold, and her mouth was turned in a slight smile. Her long, curly hair was held back with a headback and rolled down her shoulders. It was as if she'd taken care to make herself look as soft as possible.
"Mat," she said, "come in." Matsias closed the door and took a seat on the edge of one of the chairs. "A student has spoken up on your behalf, so we're reconsidering your consequences. Tell me then, why did you attempt to work dream magic?"
"I was having nightmares." Matsias wondered what the trick was.
"Why didn't you seek help for these nightmares?" Ms. Collins didn't do anything to reveal her reasons for asking these questions."I didn't know where to go."
Ms. Collins folded her hands on his desk. "Well, as it so happens, dreams are one of my specialties. So tell me about these nightmares of yours.""It doesn't matter."
"If it doesn't matter, you wouldn't have made that dream net. So tell me, what's really going on?" When he still didn't answer, she opened the folder on her desk and examined a page inside. "You know, I was on the admissions board this year. Your application was particularly interesting..." She paused, as if expecting Mat to reply, but he refused. "It was brought by a Shax'ia priest, who told us that the applicants were worried the information inside could endanger your life. The application also said you would have to attend under an assumed identity, as travel to and from your home country would otherwise be impossible. If you went to so much trouble to get here, why aren't you fighting harder to stay?"
The cozy office had grown stuffy. "I didn't send in the application."
Ms. Collins' frown tightened. "So you don't want to be here."
"That's not what I said!"
"Then tell me about your nightmares."
Matsias couldn't look at her. He couldn't tell her. He couldn't return to the fire, not in the day time. But Ms. Collins didn't stop.
"Matsias Beleed," she said. Mat flinched at the sound of his own name. He glanced up. Ms. Collins was reading off the paper in front of her. "In response to the question, 'why are you applying on behalf of this student,' Matsias originally hails from Ethion, where he and his family were living in poverty. Due to the death of his parents, he is not currently in the state of mind to complete the application himself. It is the hope of myself and my husband, however, that aside from being a place in which Matsias could develop his extraordinary magical skill, Faraday could help Matsias through the emotional pain he is no doubt currently experiencing."
Matsias saw Ms. Collins' head move just in time to look down. He could feel her watching him. He tried to look at the door without moving his head. "Do you want to tell me about this, or should I go on?" Ms. Collins asked. Matsias squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted to scream.
Ms. Collins continued. "On our last day in Illegate, I had some very early morning business to attend to. As I was returning to our trailer, I had a mind to pass by the local Epaluno temple. At the time, I was not aware why I had made the decision, though in retrospect, I believe this was a result of Mat's luck. As I approached, I heard the usual singing inside, but I could also smell smoke in the air. When I got closer, it was clear that the temple was on fire, and the members trapped inside. Matsias lay in front, beneath a burning board. Since smuggling him out of Ethion, my husband and I have adopted him as Mat Truuit, our son, which is why this application comes to you as it does. We can only presume that Mat's luck is the reason he is the sole survivor of this tragedy."
"It's a lie." The words clawed out of Mat's throat. He gripped the arms of his chair as if he might strangle them.
Ms. Collins stopped reading and looked up with what appeared to be genuine surprised. "You... didn't..."
"I wasn't the only survivor."
Ms. Collins set down the page she was reading. "Where... are the others?"
Matsias tried to relax his grip on the chair. "Boarded a train to Mevi.""
Why weren't you on the train?"
"Well, I had to go back, didn't I?" Matsias could heard his own voice rising in his ears. "Someone had to go back! They told us to leave, but they didn't do anything. They knew. Somehow, they knew..." His voice caught in his throat and he went quiet.
Ms. Collins pushed the folder aside and leaned in. "Who knew?"
"Our parents. They knew the temple was going to burn, and they didn't save themselves. They just went on singing, like nothing was wrong." He slumped forward and covered his face. He couldn't say anything more. Tears that he had held back for nearly a year choked him as he gasped for air.
He heard the sound of Ms. Collins' chair scraping the floor. He heard her footsteps, walking around the desk, and then he felt a hand on his shoulder. At first, it made him shake more--the thought of this stranger seeing him break down like this, but as he heard her breaths, slow and calms in his ear, he started to copy them, and after a while, he didn't need to cry anymore either.
He sat back in the chair and took off his glasses to wipe his eyes. Ms. Collins pulled up the other chair so she was sitting only a few inches away. She spoke quietly. "Matsias, do you like Faraday?"
"Sure."
"I mean it, Matsias. We're aware that in some cases, students need help with the application process. But when we do receive an application on behalf of a student, we can never be entirely sure it's what the student wants. So I really do have to know. Do you want to be here?"
Matsias nodded as the tears flooded his eyes all over again. "I've always wanted to be here." He could barely speak above a whisper.
"Can you promise me that you won't work any more unauthorized magic?" He could feel her hand on his shoulder again, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to lean in or pull away.
Then the meaning of her words hit him. He blinked up at her. "You mean... I can stay?"
"Can you promise me you won't do any more unauthorized magic?" Ms. Collins returned to the prim stature she'd held when he had entered.
Matsias sat up straighter and squared his shoulders. "Yes, ma'am."
"Then I will recommend to Mrs. Wayteel that you stay--in probationary terms."
Matsias put his glasses back on. "Yes, ma'am."
"Will you wait here for a moment?" She left the office before he could answer and returned with the tall, round-faced boy who had helped him and Reed the night before. "Mat, this is Charlie Newman. Charlie, would you mind walking Mat back to Victoria House? Mat? We'll have another meeting in the next day or so, to discuss our final decision."
Mat walked back to Victoria House with Charlie in silence. When they reached the common, Mat looked for the girls, but saw none of them.
"Have they moved you to a new room yet?" Charlie looked at Mat, and then toward the boys' hall.
"I... want to find my sister."
"Okay, where is her room?"
"Third floor."
Charlie glanced at Mat's leg. "You need help?"
On another day, it might have annoyed Mat, or even amused him. But he was too exhausted to care. "I'll be fine. Thanks."
"Um... okay. Take care."
Matsias nodded and then trudged up the stairs to Key and Tilli's room. Key answered the door. Matsias didn't know she could look so worried. "What did she say?" Key asked."They changed their minds. Maybe. I might be able to stay."
"Really?" Tilli was sitting on her bed, reading a book. Or maybe pretending to read. "That's great!"
Mat's nose burned again. He didn't want to have this conversation in front of Tilli.
As if she'd read his mind, Tilli stood up from the bed and snapped her book shut. "You now, I think I'm going to need help from my sister. And it's really hard, so I might break curfew and crash at Liberty House. Don't wait up for me." She paused as she walked past Mat. "It really is good news."
Once the door had closed, Matsias collapsed on Tilli's bed. He wasn't sure what else to say to Key, but she didn't ask. Instead, she started singing their lullaby. And as she did, he let the notes wash over him.
